Tending to Endings (forty-four)
I mentioned in my last blog that I was going to write something about legacies this week. I have moved that post to November 13 because I wanted to give you a heads up about some changes to Tending to Endings and a few new projects.
When I started this blog in January, I had recently left my job of ten years in order to care from my mom at the end of her life. Afterwards, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do next, but I had a feeling it had something to do with death. I was surprised at how much I did not know going into that experience and it had been a profound one.
I gave myself this weekly research and writing assignment an exploration into end-of-life matters, planning to write for at least six months. By June, I wasn’t running out of ideas and I was enjoying writing the posts each week. Plus, the pandemic was in full swing. I saw no reason to stop.
I am grateful for our small but caring readership. There are currently 129 subscribers, plus the others who find their way to my website, often due to subscribers sharing the link on social media sites, thank you!
Tending to Endings will continue as a weekly publication through December 18 and then it will move to a once-a-month schedule. I still haven’t run out of ideas. Everyone dies and hardly anyone talks about death, so there is more material than I can possibly cover. But with the new year, I want to make room for some new work as well.
Beginning January 1, subscribers will receive Tending to Endings on the first Friday of the month. It will still be free. I hope you continue to find it relevant and readable, and that you continue to share your thoughts and ideas and stories with me. I love receiving your comments and mail!
New Work
About a year ago a friend asked me if I ever wrote stories on commission. She had been meaning to write something about the birth of her two daughters born through invitro fertilization, but she was never finding the time. She wondered if I could write it for her so that she could save the stories for her daughters when they were older.
I was intrigued. I had written my own pregnancy and birth story for Parents magazine, and I have always been grateful to have that story. It helps me remember all those moments of worry and hope and grace. It gives me a window into that time and reminds me of all we went through at the start of my sons’ lives. I loved the idea of helping another mom capture those moments. Plus, it sounded like fun.
Darcy and Mike were able to share their journey with me through a series of conversations and then we worked collaboratively on a beautiful book. They made twenty copies for friends and family and of course saved two special copies for their daughters. For me, there was a gift, too. I found a new kind of magic happens in the deep listening required to write another’s story. I was hooked.
I took out a business license for Story of My Life last January and planned to launcy a personal memoir service. When the pandemic hit, I backed off on these plans. It seemed the wrong time to begin a business for anything other than essential goods and services.
Still, a few projects have serendipitously made it to me, including a couple stories about caregiving and end-of-life. It has been such an honor to receive these sacred stories, and I am very excited to continue this work. If you are interested in learning more, please visit Story of My Life. I will continue to add information about process, pricing, and gift certificates in the next day or two. Also, feel free to reach out with questions anytime at laura@laurastavoe.com.
Story Workshops
Maybe by the time you read this, we will have final election results, and maybe not, but regardless of the outcome a great deal of uncertainty remains. Uncertainty about the pandemic, the economy, and maybe most of all, uncertainty about how we will rebuild trust in our systems, our processes, and most importantly, in each other. I of course don’t have answers for all this. But I know the work will take a great deal of courage and love. I don’t know any other way to build trust.
My years of teaching helped me to know the way I come to love people I do not understand is to listen, not to their opinions, but to their stories. This is one reason I have been missing teaching during this time that I’ve called my accidental sabbatical. I’ve had the luxury long walks and creative work each day. But I am at my best when I am also teaching, in part because I have access to so many living stories.
And so, I’m planning to launch two workshops starting soon after the holidays. One will be a writing workshop for who want help writing and saving their own Family Stories. The other will be Storytelling and Storylistening with the aim, not on performance, but on building connection and community. The first round of these workshops will be online and I will post more information soon.
Also, I wanted to share one of the things that helped me to get through Thursday, Who We Can Become, the most recent episode of On Being. I found it calming and hopeful, and thought you might appreciate it as well.
Have a beautiful weekend.
With love,
Laura
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